1.中世纪2全面战争 公主属性 英文

2.Carmin Turco的《God Damn》 歌词

3.self-reliance 作者Ralph waldo Emerson那个跪求中文翻译！

4.法语姓氏有哪些？

5.▇█▇▆200分▄▃▂▁征集英文笑话啦▁▂▃▄200分▅▆▇▇█

6.辐射3僵尸

7.hellyeah的《Goddamn》 歌词

bigo live_bigot

歌曲名:God-Dam

歌手:GODLEE

专辑:God-dam

Goddamned -- Jay Brannan

I’m marching to Zion

A camera in my hand

I hear people cryin’

Dyin’ for this blood-stained land

The streets of old Jerusalem

Are lined with souvenirs and those buying them

It sounds cold, but I cannot see

How this theme park has shaped history

Cause virgins don’t have babies

And water isn’t wine

And there’s a holy spirit maybe

But she would never rent a room with walls built by mankind

Mary and Mohammed

Are screaming through the clouds

For you to lay your goddamned arms down

Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground

Stand in line patiently

To supercharge your rosary

Or stuff your prayers inside this wall

We once had god trapped in this great hall

But we’ve been cast out from this place

They say a prophet floated from here to outer space

Am I crazy? maybe it’s me

But this all sounds like mythology

Cause virgins don’t have babies

And water isn’t wine

And there’s a holy spirit maybe

But she would never rent a room with walls built by mankind

Mary and Mohammed

Are screaming through the clouds

For you to lay your goddamned arms down

Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground

Zeus was afraid of his girlfriend

So he swallowed her in bed

Then he bore forth Athena

When they cracked open his head

Her brother tried to rape her

Athena got away

And when his seed hit the ground

The grass gave birth that day

Now we all freely admit

This story’s clearly bullshit

No one would lay down their life

Or start a war for it

So throw your stones and pray

You’ll be rewarded someday

I hope it all goes your way

But something tells me

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

Save yourselves

From turning earth into hell

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

Mary and Mohammed

Are screaming through the clouds

For you to lay your goddamned arms down

Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground

style="font-size: 18px;font-weight: bold;border-left: 4px solid #a10d00;margin: 10px 0px 15px 0px;padding: 10px 0 10px 20px;background: #f1dada;">中世纪2全面战争 公主属性 英文

一是格拉夫 被誉为当年世界上三大长笛大师之一（另外两位是朗帕尔Rampal和尼柯莱Nicolet。Rampal已于1999年去世，现在老一辈的只剩他和 Nicolet二人）。1929年生于苏黎世， 国际著名长笛演奏家、指挥家、瑞士巴塞尔音乐学院长笛教授。从小随乔奈Andre Jaunet学习长笛，后考入巴黎国立音乐学院，师承长笛大师莫伊兹（Marcel Moyse）和Roger Cortot，并获得第一奖。在巴黎国立音乐学院他还师从Eugene Bigot大师学习指挥，并获得指挥家文凭。21岁时，格拉夫录制了伊贝尔（Ibert）长笛协奏曲，由此在国际乐坛上名声鹊起。1953年他荣获慕尼黑长笛国际比赛第一名，这是世界上最高级别的赛事之一。并继离职的尼柯莱之后就任柏林爱乐乐团长笛首席。1958年他又获得伦敦哈利尔特．柯恩国际音乐节的巴布洛克奖。Graf除了担任独奏家和室内乐演奏家外，在交响乐和歌剧方面，他身兼长笛独奏家及交响乐和歌剧指挥之职，是个很活跃的指挥家。他的演奏优美而精确，在那自然流泻出的音乐里，荡漾着明澈的音乐魅力。他的唱片代表作是莫扎特的长笛协奏曲全集。Graf目前定居在瑞士巴塞尔，定期在世界各地开办大师班，并在一些最著名的国际音乐比赛中担任评委。Graf的两部长笛教学理论书Check-up（检验）和Interpretation（演奏）由Schott出版社出版发行，他灌录的30多张激光唱片则由Claves唱片公司发行。

另外一位就是朗帕尔是把长笛带上世界音乐殿堂的第一人，在他之前，虽有不少杰出的长笛演奏家，但没有人可以像他一样赋予长笛全新的生命。早在上世纪60年代，朗帕尔已成为国际上第一个真正的现代长笛大师，并赢得“长笛王子”的美誉。

还有尼柯莱1926年出生于瑞士,自小学习长笛,师从于法国长笛大师莫依斯(Marcel Mayse),1948年在日内瓦国际长笛比赛中获第一名,1950年担任柏林爱乐乐团首席长笛,并同时在柏林音乐学院担任长笛教授。如同高尔韦一样在六年后离开柏林爱乐乐团,开始自己的独奏生涯。

Carmin Turco的《God Damn》 歌词

相貌平庸是UglyWoman

傲慢无礼是PretentiousWoman

头脑简单是VapidWoman

渴望结婚是DesperateWoman

作风糜烂是UnchasteWoman

影响甚微是ColdWoman

为人势力是BigotWoman

爱慕美女是PassionateWoman

贫瘠不育是InfertileWoman

蛇蝎心肠是HarshWoman

傲慢王族是BadPrincess

这几个特征都有不同程度,翻译不一样.不过都不难理解.一个类型的都有3做程度,有的是依次递减,有的会突然扭转负的变正的.

你要去除的时候反正打remove trait this 特征 一般都能去掉

self-reliance 作者Ralph waldo Emerson那个跪求中文翻译！

歌曲名:God Damn

歌手:Carmin Turco

专辑:Angel

Goddamned -- Jay Brannan

I’m marching to Zion

A camera in my hand

I hear people cryin’

Dyin’ for this blood-stained land

The streets of old Jerusalem

Are lined with souvenirs and those buying them

It sounds cold, but I cannot see

How this theme park has shaped history

Cause virgins don’t have babies

And water isn’t wine

And there’s a holy spirit maybe

But she would never rent a room with walls built by mankind

Mary and Mohammed

Are screaming through the clouds

For you to lay your goddamned arms down

Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground

Stand in line patiently

To supercharge your rosary

Or stuff your prayers inside this wall

We once had god trapped in this great hall

But we’ve been cast out from this place

They say a prophet floated from here to outer space

Am I crazy? maybe it’s me

But this all sounds like mythology

Cause virgins don’t have babies

And water isn’t wine

And there’s a holy spirit maybe

But she would never rent a room with walls built by mankind

Mary and Mohammed

Are screaming through the clouds

For you to lay your goddamned arms down

Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground

Zeus was afraid of his girlfriend

So he swallowed her in bed

Then he bore forth Athena

When they cracked open his head

Her brother tried to rape her

Athena got away

And when his seed hit the ground

The grass gave birth that day

Now we all freely admit

This story’s clearly bullshit

No one would lay down their life

Or start a war for it

So throw your stones and pray

You’ll be rewarded someday

I hope it all goes your way

But something tells me

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

Save yourselves

From turning earth into hell

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

Mary and Mohammed

Are screaming through the clouds

For you to lay your goddamned arms down

Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground

style="font-size: 18px;font-weight: bold;border-left: 4px solid #a10d00;margin: 10px 0px 15px 0px;padding: 10px 0 10px 20px;background: #f1dada;">法语姓氏有哪些？

Whoso would be a man, must be a nonconformist. He who would gather immortal palms must not be hindered by the name of goodness, but must explore if it be goodness. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world. I remember an answer which when quite young I was prompted to make to a valued adviser who was wont to importune me with the dear old doctrines of the church. On my saying, "What have I to do with the sacredness of traditions, if I live wholly from within?" my friend suggested,--"But these impulses may be from below, not from above." I replied, "They do not seem to me to be such; but if I am the Devil's child, I will live then from the Devil." No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature. Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution; the only wrong what is against it. A man is to carry himself in the presence of all opposition as if every thing were titular and ephemeral but he. I am ashamed to think how easily we capitulate to badges and names, to large societies and dead institutions.来源：( - 《论自助》 中文翻译_丽人购物天堂_新浪博客 Every decent and well-spoken individual affects and sways me more than is right. I ought to go upright and vital, and speak the rude truth in all ways. If malice and vanity wear the coat of philanthropy, shall that pass? If an angry bigot assumes this bountiful cause of Abolition, and comes to me with his last news from Barbadoes, why should I not say to him, 'Go love thy infant; love thy wood-chopper; be good-natured and modest; have that grace; and never varnish your hard, uncharitable ambition with this incredible tenderness for black folk a thousand miles off. Thy love afar is spite at home.' Rough and graceless would be such greeting, but truth is handsomer than the affectation of love. Your goodness must have some edge to it,--else it is none. The doctrine of hatred must be preached, as the counteraction of the doctrine of love, when that pules and whines. I shun father and mother and wife and brother when my genius calls me. I would write on the lintels of the door-post, *Whim*. I hope it is somewhat better than whim at last, but we cannot spend the day in explanation. Expect me not to show cause why I seek or why I exclude company. Then again, do not tell me, as a good man did to-day, of my obligation to put all poor men in good situations. Are they my poor? I tell thee thou foolish philanthropist that I grudge the dollar, the dime, the cent, I give to such men as do not belong to me and to whom I do not belong. 任何名副其实的真正的人，都必须是不落俗套的人。任何采集圣地棕搁叶的人，都不应当拘泥于名义上的善，而应当发掘善之本身。除了我们心灵的真诚之外，其它的一切归根结蒂都不是神圣的。解脱自己，皈依自我，也就必然得到世人的认可。记得，当我还很小的时候，有位颇受人尊重的师长。他习惯不厌其烦地向我灌输宗教的古老教条。有一回，我禁不住回了他一句。听到我说，如果我完全靠内心的指点来生活，那么我拿那些神圣的传统干嘛呢；我的这位朋友提出说：“可是，内心的冲动可能是低下的，而不是高尚的。”我回答说：“在我看来，却不是如此。不过，倘若我是魔鬼的孩子，那么我就要照魔鬼的指点来生活。”除了天性的法则之外，在我看来，没有任何法则是神圣的。 好与坏，只不过是个名声而已，不费吹灰之力，便可以将它从这人身上移到那人身上。唯一正确的，是顺从自身结构的事物；唯一错误的，是逆自身结构的事物。一个人面对反对意见，其举措应当像除了他自己之外，其它的一切都是有名无实的过眼烟云。使我惭愧的是，我们如此易于成为招牌、名份的俘虏，成为庞大的社团和毫无生气的习俗的俘虏。 任何一个正派、谈吐优雅之士都比一位无懈可击的人更能影响我、左右我。我应当正直坦诚、生气勃勃，以各种方式直抒未加粉饰的真理…如果恶意和虚荣披着慈善的外衣，可行吗？如果一个愤怒偏执的人假定这个慷慨引起了废止，并且从巴巴多斯岛传来了他最后的消息，为何我不应该告诉他：去爱你的孩子，爱你的砍柴工具，养成良好的谦虚的性格，保持优雅，不要伪装你的冷酷，拥有慈爱之心，迈过这些不可思议的台阶对于一个毫无希望的平民就走出了一千米远。 你对外界的爱伴随内心的痛苦，粗陋和不雅会向你招手，但是坚持真理要比虚伪的爱更加英俊潇洒。你的善良一定要有一个限度，不然它就什么都不是。 当开始悲哀时，作为爱的精神的对立面，仇恨的意识必须被劝诫。当我的天才召唤我时，我会避开父亲、母亲、妻子和兄弟，会把灵感写在门口柱子上的软麻布上。我希望它会比让灵感消失要强一些，但是我们没有时间对它做出解释。假使我没有表现出来，我会疏远亲人和朋友花时间去探究。然后再一次，不要告诉我，今天作为一个好人，我需要对促使所有贫穷的人开始好转表示感激。这些人是我的贫穷吗？我告诉你这个愚蠢的慈善家，我很不情愿把这些元、角、分给到那些不属于我的或者我不属于的人。

▇█▇▆200分▄▃▂▁征集英文笑话啦▁▂▃▄200分▅▆▇▇█

请看我从法语网上拷贝下来的，这是我居住的省(安茹）常用姓，第一列是排名，第二列是姓，第三列是用此姓的人数.

1 MARTIN 661

2 MOREAU 608

3 MENARD 520

4 PINEAU 470

5 POIRIER 454

6 ROBERT 346

7 RAIMBAULT 343

8 DELAUNAY 331

9 RICHARD 322

10 DURAND 319

11 ROUSSEAU 317

12 CHEVALIER 312

13 OGER 311

14 BELLANGER 302

15 PASQUIER 298

16 CESBRON 297

17 GAUTIER 292

18 TESSIER 286

19 DAVID 278

20 HUMEAU 274

21 CHAUVEAU 271

22 ROBIN 268

23 GOURDON 267

24 TERRIEN 264

25 GIRARD 259

26 CHUPIN 258

27 THOMAS 251

28 CAILLEAU 247

29 MARCHAND 246

30 VINCENT 245

31 RENOU 233

32 PAPIN 228

33 MERCIER 228

34 DUPONT 225

35 GUERIN 220

36 MANCEAU 217

37 BESNARD 217

38 ALLARD 215

39 GAUDIN 211

40 LAMBERT 210

41 BARRE 201

42 LEROY 198

43 THIBAULT 195

44 RETHORE 189

45 ESNAULT 189

46 BOUVET 182

47 HUET 181

48 PELTIER 181

49 MACE 178

50 MORIN 178

51 MAILLET 178

52 DAVY 176

53 BONDU 175

54 FROGER 174

55 BERTHELOT 174

56 BERNIER 173

57 HERVE 172

58 CHIRON 172

59 GALLARD 172

60 ONILLON 170

61 CADEAU 170

62 BOUTIN 170

63 SOURICE 168

64 SAMSON 167

65 COURANT 164

66 GRIMAULT 163

67 BESSON 163

68 CHENE 161

69 LEFORT 159

70 PERRAULT 158

71 BRUNEAU 156

72 BOURGEAIS 156

73 GUILLET 152

74 COIFFARD 151

75 FONTENEAU 151

76 CHEVALLIER 151

77 HAMON 149

78 DENIS 148

79 SIMON 147

80 LEROUX 146

81 ROBINEAU 145

82 BOUYER 145

83 AUDOUIN 145

84 MARTINEAU 144

85 ROGER 143

86 LEMOINE 143

87 BUREAU 142

88 BARON 142

89 OUVRARD 141

90 ALBERT 141

91 ROCHARD 140

92 GASNIER 140

93 LEBRUN 138

94 GASTINEAU 135

95 AUBRY 134

96 GAULTIER 134

97 LEBRETON 132

98 RIPOCHE 131

99 MORINIERE 131

100 CHOUTEAU 131

101 BARANGER 129

102 BODIN 129

103 AUGEREAU 128

104 GARNIER 128

105 BLOUIN 127

106 ROYER 127

107 GAUTHIER 127

108 BRETON 126

109 TOUBLANC 126

110 SECHER 122

111 RAVENEAU 122

112 LARDEUX 122

113 BROCHARD 122

114 BARREAU 122

115 PETITEAU 122

116 LANDREAU 121

117 POUPARD 120

118 BEAUMONT 120

119 LECOMTE 120

120 PETIT 120

121 FOUCHER 119

122 HARDOUIN 118

123 BERTRAND 118

124 JOUBERT 117

125 GOHIER 117

126 DUBOIS 117

127 GODINEAU 116

128 NEAU 115

129 JARRY 114

130 GUILLOT 114

131 SOULARD 112

132 LECLERC 112

133 HUBERT 112

134 BRAUD 111

135 BIDET 111

136 GROLLEAU 110

137 MERLET 110

138 LOISEAU 109

139 FROUIN 108

140 GOUJON 108

141 MASSON 107

142 GILBERT 106

143 CHAUVIN 106

144 BRUNET 106

145 LEMESLE 105

146 CARRE 105

147 DEROUET 104

148 METAYER 104

149 BEDOUET 103

150 JAMIN 103

151 MARY 103

152 MONNIER 103

153 CHEVET 103

154 CHARRIER 103

155 BOURGET 103

156 DIXNEUF 102

157 GROSBOIS 102

158 PIRON 102

159 MALINGE 101

160 BABIN 101

161 GUIBERT 101

162 GIRAULT 100

163 BRAULT 100

164 NEVEU 100

165 BERNARD 100

166 CLEMOT 99

167 CHARBONNIER 98

168 BLANCHARD 98

169 CASSIN 97

170 BROUARD 97

171 BRIN 97

172 VIGNERON 97

173 RETAILLEAU 97

174 SUPIOT 96

175 BAUMARD 96

176 METIVIER 96

177 VALLEE 96

178 AUBERT 96

179 FOURNIER 96

180 HAMARD 95

181 GRASSET 95

182 JOLIVET 95

183 FRESNEAU 94

184 GELINEAU 93

185 CHAUVAT 93

186 PEAN 93

187 PITON 93

188 DELESTRE 93

189 DROUET 93

190 CHARTIER 93

191 BANCHEREAU 92

192 BODET 92

193 COLAS 92

194 COUSIN 91

195 BOUVIER 91

196 BABONNEAU 90

197 DUTERTRE 90

198 BOSSE 90

199 BOURCIER 90

200 BRISSET 89

201 ANTIER 88

202 FARDEAU 88

203 CHAUVIRE 88

204 MICHEL 88

205 LEDUC 88

206 BREMOND 87

207 RENAULT 87

208 BORE 87

209 LEGER 87

210 SUTEAU 86

211 GUILLEUX 86

212 SECHET 85

213 BREVET 85

214 BOUMARD 84

215 MORILLE 84

216 AUBIN 84

217 BRIAND 84

218 GABORIAU 83

219 BOULAY 83

220 THARREAU 82

221 RABINEAU 82

222 MORON 82

223 GODIN 82

224 BOUSSION 82

225 BLOND 82

226 BREHERET 82

227 CORMIER 82

228 BAUDRY 81

229 ROY 81

230 CAMUS 81

231 BENOIST 81

232 GODARD 80

233 CHAILLOU 80

234 RENARD 80

235 BIGOT 80

236 BOMPAS 79

237 BELLIARD 79

238 POILANE 79

239 BARRAULT 79

240 NOYER 79

241 BOURIGAULT 78

242 DUVEAU 78

243 GARREAU 78

244 BOUET 78

245 LUCAS 78

246 BONNEAU 78

247 GAILLARD 78

248 RABIN 77

249 CHATEAU 77

250 BODINEAU 76

251 VIAU 76

252 GAZEAU 76

253 BRANCHEREAU 76

254 MARAIS 76

255 FREMONT 76

256 CHARRON 76

257 GUITTON 76

258 PICHERIT 75

259 GABORY 75

260 BODY 75

261 BREGEON 75

262 MEUNIER 75

263 VOISINE 74

264 GASTE 74

265 LEBLANC 74

266 MAUSSION 73

267 COTTENCEAU 73

268 BURON 73

269 BREBION 73

270 BRETAUDEAU 73

271 NAUD 73

272 PLANCHENAULT 73

273 FOURRIER 73

274 CHARDON 73

275 AVRIL 73

276 BEDUNEAU 72

277 TIJOU 72

278 SALMON 72

279 LAUNAY 72

280 BOUCHET 72

281 DUPE 71

282 PERDRIAU 71

283 LANDAIS 71

284 PROUST 71

285 LUSSON 70

286 BOUCHER 70

287 DUBILLOT 69

288 GALISSON 69

289 LEVRON 69

290 GAIGNARD 69

291 PELE 69

292 DOISNEAU 69

293 LELIEVRE 69

294 DELAHAYE 69

295 PRODHOMME 68

296 COUET 68

297 RICHOU 68

298 VASLIN 68

299 PAUVERT 68

300 DUPUIS 68

301 GAUGAIN 67

302 ROUILLARD 67

303 BOUTEILLER 67

304 CHERBONNIER 66

305 DELEPINE 66

306 CHRETIEN 66

307 THIERRY 66

308 GREGOIRE 66

309 POULAIN 66

310 GUILLON 66

311 DEFOIS 65

312 PRIOU 65

313 ALLAIRE 65

314 BELLIER 65

315 DELHUMEAU 64

316 DERSOIR 64

317 JEANNETEAU 64

318 HAMELIN 64

319 HUCHON 64

320 PINON 64

321 RICOU 64

322 BIOTTEAU 63

323 BENETEAU 63

324 POIRON 63

325 COUSSEAU 63

326 CHESNEAU 63

327 BESNIER 63

328 BRICARD 62

329 JOULAIN 62

330 LANGLAIS 62

331 POHU 62

332 GAUTREAU 62

333 CLEMENCEAU 62

334 VAILLANT 62

335 BLIN 62

336 BONNET 62

337 GAUDICHEAU 61

338 GUILBAULT 61

339 DENECHEAU 61

340 BOSSARD 61

341 MESLET 61

342 CHAPEAU 61

343 VERRON 61

344 JOUSSET 61

345 CHOLET 61

346 GIRARDEAU 61

347 LEMONNIER 61

348 GAGNEUX 61

349 EMERIAU 60

350 LERAY 60

351 TRICOIRE 60

352 MORICEAU 60

353 SEJOURNE 60

354 CHALOPIN 60

355 MERAND 60

356 GUERY 60

357 FERRON 60

358 GUEMAS 59

359 RABOUIN 59

360 FRIBAULT 59

361 TOURNEUX 59

362 BROSSARD 59

363 ROUX 59

364 GODET 59

365 DUVAL 59

366 CLEMENT 59

367 JOLY 59

368 ESSEUL 58

369 GENDRON 58

370 BOURREAU 58

371 BOURDAIS 58

372 NICOLAS 58

373 MAILLARD 58

374 GUYON 58

375 GRIFFON 58

376 BOIVIN 58

377 LAMY 58

378 OLIVIER 58

379 MEME 57

380 BOISDRON 57

381 MEIGNAN 57

382 MORINEAU 57

383 BOUTREUX 57

384 ABELARD 57

385 BOISSEAU 57

386 MASSE 57

387 GANDON 57

388 LAURENT 57

389 FILLAUDEAU 56

390 DENECHERE 56

391 PORCHER 56

392 BLOT 56

393 COCHARD 56

394 MAUGIN 55

395 HOUDEBINE 55

396 GABILLARD 55

397 DOUET 55

398 JOUET 55

399 ROBICHON 55

400 BAUDOUIN 55

辐射3僵尸

1.Good Question

The librarian went over to the small, noisy boy. "Please be quiet!" she admonished. "The people near you can't read!"

"They can't?" the lad said inquisitively. "Then what are they doing here?"

妙问

图书管理员走到不安静的小男孩身边。“请安静！”她告诫道。“你周围的人看不了书！”

“看不了？”小孩好奇地问道。“那他们在这儿干什么？”

An Energetic wife

Neighbour: I heard a big noise in front of your house last night. What happened to you?

Husband: It was nothing. My wife was a bit cross, and threw my overcoat out of the window.

Neighbour : Your overcoat? But how could it make such a noise?

Husband: I… I happened to be inside the coat.

精力旺盛的妻子

邻居：昨天夜里我听见你家屋前有很大的声音，你们出了什么事吗？

丈夫：没什么。我的妻子有点不高兴，把我的大衣给扔到窗外去了。

邻居：你的大衣？扔大衣怎么会有那么大的声音？

丈夫：我……我恰好也在大衣里面。

3.A Satisfactory Substitute

A neighbor boy knocked at the door.

"Can Timmy come out and play with me?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, but Timmy is taking his nap," Timmy's mother replied.

"Then can Timmy's new bike come out and play?" he inquired hopefully.

满意的替换

邻居的男孩敲门。

“蒂米能出来和我玩吗？”他问道。

“对不起，蒂米正睡午觉呢，”蒂米的妈妈答道。

“那蒂米的新自行车能出来玩吗？”他满怀希望地问道。

4. More Experienced

"Your Honor," the accused hit-and-run driver's lawyer pleaded, "that man who was injured must have been careless. My client is an experienced driver of more than 20 years."

"If experience is the issue here, " the other attorney countered, "my client has been walking for over fifty years.

更是老手

“大人，”被告逃逸司机的律师辩护说，“那个受伤的人一定是自己粗心。我的当事人是一个有20多年驾龄的老手。”

“如果这里的问题在于经验的话，”另一位律师说，“我的当事人已有了50多年的走龄。”

5. Not Difficult

The duck hunters had been waiting hours for some ducks to show up. Finally a lone duck flew by and everybody missed except one hunter who had been belting down a bottle of whiskey.

His pals asked him how on earth he had hit the thing.

"That's easy, " he replied, "you ought to be able to hit something when a flock that big goes by."

一点不难

打野鸭的猎手一连几小时等着野鸭露面。终于一只孤鸭飞了过来。除了一个灌了一瓶威士忌的人，别人都没打中。

同伴问他究竟是怎么射中的。

“一点儿不难，”他答道，“当那么一大群飞过时，你总能打到点什么。”

6.Vice-president

A man who had just been promoted to vice-president boasted so much about it to his wife that she finally retorted, "Vice-presidents are a dozen a dime. Why, in the supermarket they even have a vice-president in charge of prunes."

Furious, the husband phoned the supermarket in the expectation of refuting his wife. He asked to speak to the vice-president in charge of prunes.

"Which kind? " was the reply. "Fresh or dried? "

副总裁

刚被提升为副总裁的丈夫向妻子大吹大擂，妻子终于反驳道：“副总裁一毛钱买一打。你看超级市场里甚至有一名负责李子的副总裁呢。”

恼怒的丈夫立即给超级市场打电话，准备驳斥妻子。他要求与负责李子的副总裁通话。

“管哪方面的？”对方答道。“鲜货还是干货？”

7.Smart Customer

The butcher placed his last roast on the scale. "That'll be $ 3.95, " he told the customer.

"That one's too small. "

The canny butcher returned the roast to the refrigerator, paused a moment, then took it out again. "This one, " he announced, "will be $ 4.80. "

The customer smiled, "I'll take them both. "

聪明的顾客

屠夫把最后一块烤肉放在磅秤上。“3元9角5分，”他对顾客说。

“这块太小。”

狡猾的屠夫把烤肉放回冰箱里，过了一会儿，又将它取了出来。“这块，”他吆喝道，“4元8角。”

顾客笑道：“两块我都要了。”

8.Sudden Realization

Two teenagers on a tour of a modern art gallery found themselves alone in a room of modern sculpture. Staring at the twisted pipes, broken glass, and tangled shapes, one of them said, "Let's get out of here before they accuse us of wrecking this place. "

恍然大悟

两个少年去参观一家当代艺术美术馆，发现在现代雕塑的一间展室里只有他们两人。看着那些扭曲的铁管、破碎的玻璃和杂乱的形状，其中一个说道：“咱们出去吧，别让人家以为是咱们把这儿糟踏成这个样子的。”

9.Full Name

"Do you know the name of the little boy who sits behind you, Rosalie? " Mother asked the first-grader.

"His name is Jimmy, " Rosalie answered.

"Jimmy who? " asked Mother.

"His whole name is Jimmy Sitdown, " said Rosalie, "that's what the teacher calls him. "

全名

“罗莎莉，知道你后面坐的小男孩叫什么吗？”妈妈问上一年级的女儿。

“他叫吉米，”罗莎莉答道。

“吉米什么？”妈妈追问道。

“他的全名叫吉米·坐下，”罗莎莉说，“老师就那么叫他的。”

10.Not That Bad

"It looks like a bad storm is coming up, " said the hostess, "you'd better stay for dinner. "

"Oh, thanks, " said the guest absently, "but I don't think it will be that bad. "

还不至于如此

“看来要下暴雨了，”女主人说，“你还是留下来吃晚饭吧。”

“谢谢，”客人心不再焉地回答道，“但我看还不至于如此。”

11.Result Of Laziness

A teacher asked a class to write an essay on "The Result of Laziness. "

And what a bright but lazy boy in the class handed in as his composition was but a blank sheet of paper.

懒惰的结果

老师要求学生写一篇作文，题目是“懒惰的结果。”

班上一个男孩既懒又聪明，他交上来的只是一张白纸。

12.Only One Who Could Answer

His name was Johnny, and one day he came home from school looking so miserable that his mother was worried. "What is wrong? " She finally asked. Out of his trousers pocket, Johnny fished a note from the teacher which said, "Johnny has been a very naughty boy. Please have a serious talk with him. "

"What did you do? " asked Mother.

"Nothing, " sobbed Johnny, "except that the teacher asked a question and I was the only one who could answer it. "

"H'm , " murmured Mother, "what was the question? "

"Who put the dead mouse in my drawer? " answered Johnny.

只有他能答得出

一天，约翰尼放学回家后脸色特别难看，他妈妈非常焦急。“怎么啦？”她问道。约翰尼从裤兜里掏出老师的一张便条，上面写着：“约翰尼这孩子非常调皮，请认真地和他谈谈。”

“你干什么了？”妈妈问道。

“没什么，”约翰尼抽泣道，“就是老师问了一个问题，只有我答得出。”

“嗯，”妈妈沉吟道，“那是什么问题呢？”

“是谁把死耗子放在我抽屉里的？”约翰尼答道。

13.What Lincoln Did?

Father: Get up, son. When Lincoln was your age, do you know what he was doing?

Son: No, Dad, I don't. But I do know what he was doing when he was your age.

林肯在干什么？

父亲：儿子，快起床。林肯在你这么大年龄的时候，你知道他在干什么吗？

儿子：不知道，不过我确实知道他在你那么大年纪时在干什么。

14.Good Answer

Interviewing an applicant for a chauffeur's job, a man said, "Now, I want a very careful chauffeur, one who doesn't take the slightest risk. "

The applicant responded, "I'm your man, sir. Can I have my salary in advance? "

妙答

在招聘司机面试时，主考人说道：“我所需要的，是一个十分小心的司机，绝对不冒任何危险。”

应试者答道：“先生，我正是你要的人。我能预支工资吗？”

15.Hint

Leaving a plush dinner club one night, a miserly gentleman stalked right past the doorman without tipping him.

Nevertheless, the doorman helped the man into the car with a flourish and said pleasantly, "By the way, in case you happen to lose your wallet on the way home, sir , just remember that you didn't pull it out here. "

暗示

一天晚上，在离开一家豪华的餐馆俱乐部时，一位吝啬的先生大摇大摆地从服务员身边径直走过而没有给小费。

尽管如此，服务员还是潇洒地把那个人送进车里，并愉快地说道：“顺便说一句，如果你在回家的路上碰巧丢了钱包，千万记住，你没在这儿掏过。”

16.Good Reason

First mechanic: Which do you prefer, leather or fabric for the upholstery in cars?

Second mechanic: I like fabrics. Leather is too hard to wipe your hands on.

好理由

修理工甲：汽车里的车套你喜欢哪种，皮革的还是化纤的？

修理工乙：化纤的。皮革的擦手太硬了。

17.Postage

If it's true the world's getting smaller, why do they keep raising the price of postage?

邮费

如果这个世界真的是越来越小，那为什么邮费总是在涨？

18.Dumb Action

The teacher asked his pupils to write an essay telling what they would do if they had a million dollars. Every student except Willie began writing immediately.

Willie sat idle, twiddling his fingers and watching the flies on the ceiling.

"How is this , Willie? " asked the teacher. "Is this your essay? All the other pupils have written two sheets or more while you haven't done anything!"

"Well, " replied Willie, "that's what I'd do if I had a million dollar!"

哑剧

老师让学生写篇作文，谈谈他们如果有100万美元会干什么。所有的学生立刻写了起来，威利却不然。

他坐着发呆，搓着手指头，盯着天花板上的苍蝇。

“怎么了，威利？”老师问道。“你就这样写作文吗？其他同学都写了2页或更多了，而你什么都没干！”

“是啊，”威利应道，“我要是有100万美元的话，那就是这个样子。”

19.Reason

A mother asked her son who had just returned from a youth group's car-washing project, "What was the least amount anyone paid you? "

He replied, "One man gave us just fifty cents. "

His mother said, "That's not very much. "

"I know, " he explained, "but maybe it's because we hosed his car before the windows were rolled up. "

原因

儿子参加少年洗车小组活动回来后，妈妈问道：“钱给得最少的是多少？”

他答道：“有个人只给了5毛钱。”

妈妈说：“是不多。”

“我知道不多，”儿子解释道，“或许是由于他还没摇上窗户，我们就开始冲水的缘故。”

20.Typical

A wife was telling her neighbor about her fishing trip with her husband, "I did everything wrong on the trip. I talked too loud, I made too much noise, I used the wrong bait, I reeled in too soon, and I caught more fish than he did. "

典型的

一位妻子正向邻居谈她和丈夫的钓鱼之行：“我一路上尽出错。我说话声音太高，弄出的响声太大，我用错了鱼饵，起钩太早，可我抓到的鱼比他多。”

21.Fond Of Him

"I suppose the baby is fond of you, " said the visitor to the new father.

"Fond of me? Why, he sleeps all day when I'm not at home and stays up all night to enjoy my company, " answered the proud father.

偏爱

“看来宝宝挺喜欢你的，”客人对刚当上爸爸的主人说道。

“喜欢？可不，我不在家的时候他整天睡觉，然后整晚不睡让我陪着他，”自豪的父亲答道。

22.A Long Time

Greta Garbo was invited to a Hollywood dinner which was attended also by Dr. Albert Einstein. Having some vague idea as to Dr. Einstein's status, Greta turned to him during the dinner and remarked, "Doctor, I understand that you have a great theory. Won't you please explain it all to me? "

"My dear lady, " said Einstein, "I' m afraid there will not be time enough during the dinner to explain the theory of relativity, but perhaps I can tell you about the law of gravitation, which is really a prerequisite. "

So Dr. Einstein went on to tell her all about the phenomenon of gravity and its consequences. Upon the conclusion of his discourse, Greta seemed very impressed and said to him, "Well, for goodness' sake, Doctor, how long has this been going on? "

许久

格丽泰·嘉宝应邀出席好莱坞晚宴，阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦博士也在场。格丽泰对爱因斯坦博士的身份有些模糊印象，因而就在席间转向他说道：“博士，好像你有一个伟大的理论。能否请你解释一遍？”

爱因斯坦说：“亲爱的女士，这会儿解释相对论恐怕时间不够。不过或许我可以给你讲讲引力定律，这其实是个前提条件。”

接着爱因斯坦博士就开始向她讲解引力现象及其后果。听完讲解之后，格丽泰似乎很受启发，对他说道：“天哪，博士，这一现象出现多久了？”

23.Not Fair

Two fishermen sitting on a bridge, their lines in the water, made a bet as to who would catch the first fish. One of them got a bite on his line and got so excited that he fell off the bridge.

"Oh, well, " said the other, "if you're going to dive for them, the bet's off!"

不公平

两个垂钓者坐在桥上，鱼线在水里漂着，他们打赌看谁能先钓到鱼。其中一个发现鱼咬了钩，因过于激动竟掉下桥去。

“哎，”另一个说道，“如果你下水摸鱼，这个赌就没法打了！”

24.Football

Seeing his first American football game, the Englishman watched one of the teams go into a huddle.

"What do you think of it? " asked his American friend.

"It's not a bad sport, " he observed, "but they have too many committee meetings. "

橄榄球

一个英国人第一次看橄榄球比赛，发现其中一个队挤成一团。

“你觉得怎么样？”他的美国朋友问道。

“这种运动不错，”他评论道，“就是他们的碰头会开得太多。”

25.Doctor And Mechanic

Doctor Smith phoned Mike, his mechanic, in middle of the night and said, "It's my engine again, Mike. I can't get it started. That car is one big headache! "

"Well, Doctor, take two aspirins and phone me again in the moring. "

医生和修理工

史密斯大夫半夜里打电话给他的汽车修理工迈克说：“又是我汽车发动机的问题，迈克。我发动不了，这车子真是让人头痛！”

“那么，大夫，吃两片阿斯匹林吧，明天早上再打电话给我。”

26.Walking Dog

The little boy was making a manful effort to lead a large, shaggy dog. "Where are you taking him? " he was asked.

"I don't know yet, " the lad replied, "but when he makes up his mind where he wants to go, I'm going to take him there. "

遛狗

一个小男孩正学大人模样，费力地牵着一条长毛大狗。“带它去哪儿啊？”有人问他。

“还不知道呢，”小孩答道，“但如果狗想好了去哪儿，我就带它去哪儿。”

27.Who For Whom

Dismayed by the size of the Newfoundland dog given to him for his birthday, the small boy wanted to know, "Is he for me, or am I for him ?"

谁给谁

小男孩生日时得到一条纽芬兰狗。狗的块头令他害怕不已，便问道：“是把它给我呢，还是把我给它？”

28.Keep It Confidential

"Don't you and your wife ever have a difference of opinion? "

"Sure we do -- but I don't tell her about it. "

保密

“你和你妻子从来没有过不同意见吗？”

“当然有——但我不告诉她。”

29.Stranger

A young mother put her two children to bed, then changed into an oversized sweat shirt and an old pair of blue jeans and proceeded to wash her hair. All during the shampoo she could hear the youngsters growing wilder and noisier.

She finished as quickly as she could, wrapped a large towel around her head, stormed into the children's room and put them back to bed with a stern warning to stay there.

As she left she heard her two-year-old say to his brother in a trembling voice, "who was that? "

陌生人

年轻的妈妈把两个孩子安顿在床上，换上一件肥大的汗衫和一条旧牛仔裤，开始洗头。刚在头上倒上香波，她听到两个小家伙闹得越来越凶了。

她匆忙洗完头，头上裹了条大毛巾，冲进孩子们的房间，把他们放回床上，厉声警告他们呆在那儿。

当她离开时，她听到自己两岁的孩子用颤抖的声音问自己的哥哥：“那是谁？”

30.Inflation

"With the high price of food, my shopping habits have changed, " commented the housewife, "now I fill the shopping cart with money and put the food in my purse. "

通货膨胀

“食品涨价后，我的购物习惯也变了，”家庭主妇评说道，“现在我用购物车装钱，用钱包装食品。”

33.Salesmanship

The sales manager was approached by some little Girl Scouts peddling cookies. "Why do you want to see me? " he asked.

"Because you are so handsome, " smiled one little girl.

He bought twelve boxes and went back to his desk murmuring, "There is no brighter sales tool than truth. "

推销术

几名销售糕点的女童子军找到销售经理。他问道：“你们为何要见我？”

“因为你长得帅，”一个小女孩笑着说道。

他买了12盒，回到自己的办公桌前，自言自语地说道：“没有比说真话更聪明的推销手段了。”

35.Accurate

He had found fault with his secretary for altering a sentence in a letter he had dictated.

"I don't want you to think, " roared the great man, "I want you to take down my words accurately and then type them, neither adding nor leaving out anything I may say. "

Later in the afternoon the typist brought back the following letter:

"Dear Smyth: Spell it with a "y" , though that's pure swank on his part. In answer to your letter of--look up the date. We can quote you--tell me, Walter, what's the most we can charge this old buzzard? Very well. We can quote you $ 50 a ton for the goods. If he accepts we shall have to make sure of our money beforehand, for I don't trust him. Awaiting the pleasure of your valued order, yours faithfully."

精确

他发现了秘书把他口述的一封信的句子作了调整。

“我不需要你有思想，”这位大人物吼道，“我只需要你准确地记下我的话，然后打出来——不要在我说的话里增删任何东西。”

当天下午，打字员送回来如下的一封信：

“亲爱的史米斯：把‘密’改成‘米’，就他喜欢出风头。兹复——查查日期——来函。我们可以向你报价——告诉我，沃尔特，我们最高可以向这个老贪虫开什么价？很好。我们可以向你报价50美元每吨货。如果他接受了，我们得先确保咱们先拿到钱，因为我不信任他。恭候佳音。你诚挚的。”

38.It Changed Him

"I'm glad to find you as you were, "said the old friend. "Your wealth hasn't changed you. "

"Well, " replied the candid millionaire, "it has changed me in one thing. I'm now‘ eccentric’ where I used to be impolite, and ‘delightfully witty’ where I used to be rude. "

改变

“我很高兴你还是老样子，”老朋友说道，“你的财富并没有改变你。”

率直的百万富翁答道：“还是变了一点：过去的无礼成了现在的‘与众不同’，过去的粗鲁成了现在的‘机敏’。”

39.Specialty

First surgeon (leaving operating room):That was close!

Second surgeon: What do you mean?

First surgeon: An inch either way and I would have been out of my specialty.

专业

第一个外科大夫（正要离开手术室）：真玄哪！

第二个外科大夫：怎么啦？

第一个外科大夫：无论向哪边超出1英寸，我就越出自己的专业了。

40.A Problem

The new minister's family was presented with a pie baked by one of the congregation who was a rather poor cook. The pie was inedible, so the minister's wife reluctantly threw it into the garbage.

The preacher was faced with the problem of thanking the lady, while at the same time being truthful. After much thought, he sent the following note:

"Dear Mrs. Jones: Thank you for being so kind and thoughtful. I can assure you that pie like yours never lasts long at our house! "

头疼事

新牧师收到一份馅饼礼品，是教区1名技术欠佳的人烤的。馅饼无法食用，因此牧师的妻子只好将它扔进了垃圾桶。

牧师面临的问题是，既要感谢那位女士，同时又要说真话。绞尽脑汁之后，他送去这样一张便条：

“亲爱的琼斯夫人：感谢你的好意和周到。我可以向你保证，像你馈赠的那种馅饼在我家从来就搁不住！”

42.Her Prayer

Louise, a little girl who had begun life in a happy-go-lucky household, went to spend a few days with a very strict aunt.

One evening, after a trying day when she had been scolded for her small faults even more than usual, she said her evening prayer. As the aunt passed the bedroom door, she heard, "…and please, make all the bad people good, and the good people a little easier to live with. "

她的祷告

过惯了逍遥自在生活的小女孩路易丝，到她非常严厉的姨妈家过了几天。

一天，她因为一些小事受到比平时更多的训斥。在难熬的白天过后，她做了晚祷告。当姨妈从她的卧室门口经过时，她听到：“……还有，请一定让所有的坏人都变好，让好人好处一些。”

hellyeah的《Goddamn》 歌词

不能变，但是可以通过任务获得一个道具——僵尸面具。戴上面具后，任何僵尸都不会攻击你。下面是我转来的这个任务的攻略

在特佩尼大厦门口发现僵尸罗伊被对讲机里头的人轰走气鼓鼓离开.交谈约见TENPENNY先生或者解决僵尸,得以放行.进去首先做电梯到达2楼,说服门卫进去屋里来到阳台,见到这个建筑的所有者.他买下了这栋战前的宾馆,花钱维护和保安,把房子租给房客.下楼和坐台的警卫头子谈僵尸的问题,他坚决的要我去解决ROY一行人.答应他并告诉他我愿意尝试和平解决的方式.

从火车站入口进入地下.沿铁轨一路杀死丧尸(的),来到地铁大厅,和守卫交谈,前进看到ROY和他的爱人.告诉他们你愿意和大房东谈判,他并不以为然,偏执地认为我也是他们一样.放话说只要和宾馆地下室的铁门打开,就可开门放狗进去三光那些BIGOT然后占山为王.

笔者选择和平主义的方式息事宁人.回去见到特佩尼先生,问他僵尸入住的可能性.他说好,只要我的房客凌先生,xx夫妇,xx**,xx女士答应,他就放行.一一说服他们几个.(笔者83口才只在一开始的服装商人凌先生失败了一次读档重来,剩下均一次过).特佩尼先生会给你现金奖励,回报罗伊,他会给你僵尸面皮.回到旅馆,特佩尼先生在高楼阳台的座位空了.罗伊看到我疑惑的神情,冷冷的一笑..."你知道,我俩有点小小的意见不统一...之后特佩尼先生出了点"意外"...搞定."

歌曲名:Goddamn

歌手:hellyeah

专辑:Hellyeah

Goddamned -- Jay Brannan

I’m marching to Zion

A camera in my hand

I hear people cryin’

Dyin’ for this blood-stained land

The streets of old Jerusalem

Are lined with souvenirs and those buying them

It sounds cold, but I cannot see

How this theme park has shaped history

Cause virgins don’t have babies

And water isn’t wine

And there’s a holy spirit maybe

But she would never rent a room with walls built by mankind

Mary and Mohammed

Are screaming through the clouds

For you to lay your goddamned arms down

Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground

Stand in line patiently

To supercharge your rosary

Or stuff your prayers inside this wall

We once had god trapped in this great hall

But we’ve been cast out from this place

They say a prophet floated from here to outer space

Am I crazy? maybe it’s me

But this all sounds like mythology

Cause virgins don’t have babies

And water isn’t wine

And there’s a holy spirit maybe

But she would never rent a room with walls built by mankind

Mary and Mohammed

Are screaming through the clouds

For you to lay your goddamned arms down

Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground

Zeus was afraid of his girlfriend

So he swallowed her in bed

Then he bore forth Athena

When they cracked open his head

Her brother tried to rape her

Athena got away

And when his seed hit the ground

The grass gave birth that day

Now we all freely admit

This story’s clearly bullshit

No one would lay down their life

Or start a war for it

So throw your stones and pray

You’ll be rewarded someday

I hope it all goes your way

But something tells me

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

Save yourselves

From turning earth into hell

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

No one’s coming to save you

Mary and Mohammed

Are screaming through the clouds

For you to lay your goddamned arms down

Rip your bigot roots up from the earth and salt the goddamned ground